What do you think hell is like? (6)

Welcome to post six. 

Ive just started a new job, so ive been busy.

Hell has been a topic for centuries. What is it like, does it really exist? 
There has been many hypothesis about it. Here are my opinions, and my ideas. Please share your own ideas, im very interested in knowing what you think hell is like.


After reading Dante's Divine Comedia multiple times, I have gained many ideas of what hell is like from this book and others. 


I believe that hall is a place made up of many different sections, just like that of the inferno. But not exactly the same. Because no one is really sure what its like. But I think there are multiple layers, but Satan and his governors are the only ones who can decide what you will be used for, and where you shall be places. Satan   chooses his concubines, his governors also choose their concubines. The ones they do not wish to use for their own pleasure (including males) will be placed accordingly throughout hell. I don't really think that hell is entirely for punishment like the catholics/christians say. I think if you believe in Satan, and choose his side, he will be good to you in the afterlife. I dont think any other female who worships Satan wouldn't mind being his concubine or any of this governors. I mean I wouldn't mind anyway. 
Other than this I do not believe hell is a "fiery" place entirely. I do believe in what the inferno says, but I also disagree with it entirely. In the Inferno Dante described it as a place that went down. Also in the inferno Satan was not the ruler or creator of hell. I believe that Satan rules hell on a throne of sorts, and he is the creator and ruler of hell. Not god. Satan is the ruler of his own kingdom, since he is a great ruler that God would not allow him to be. I think hell is maybe a more flat area, a desolate place. A sad looking place that reflects Satans sadness and rage for being thrown out by God. I am in between  the whole layout of hell. I think there is a possible way it goes down into different layers like the inferno describes it. I do think it could be both. Some flat places, and then a decreasing few layers to the bottom of hell where Satan rules there. I think it is more cold there than hot. But who really knows? That's just my idea.  
I dont think if you go to hell in the afterlife you will be punished. I think Satan will take care of his followers int he afterlife. I dont think you lose human form in the afterlife. I believe you are still the same person you are when you arrive there. I don't think there are any "spirit" form. I do not reject anyone else  ideas. I accept them all, because in reality we don't know what its really like there. I know that in the world there are some people who have seen other dimensions. But until we die, we wont know what will happen. 
Who knows? 
Please share your thoughts bellow. 

What the media has done, and how it effects this culture. (5)

Welcome to post five everyone!


Most of the negativity, arguably, is due to the media's portrayal of the gothic subculture. Absolutely every aspect of this culture is stereotyped. Almost all of the gothic stereotypes are wrong! Everything varies in the culture. Now not many people like to argue "labels" no one likes to label themselves, but lets be honest. Many people follow a certain trend or fashion type, that they make into their own, to be comfortable and happy. It is the same with the gothic subculture.
Were going to move in a circle here.


First of all, the media does not give the gothic subculture a good wrap. The media has transformed us into what are the "drug addicts, losers, lazy asses, people who hang out in graveyards, and plain old creepy people who slaughter animals." These are labels I have heard many times. There are millions im sure, that you people have heard as well. We are always categorized as "wrong." I remember one time I went on the subway, and a couple actually got up so they didn't have to sit next to me. Then one time in Cvs, I little girl actually cried. Crazy, isnt it? Now I don't think I dress as hardcore as others do. There is a whole spectrum of clothing people in this subculture wear. Everyone's style is their own creation. It is "them".
Now my style personally is in between. Some days are more outrageous than others. I tend to stick towards the more Victorian-elegant gothic fashion. I love dresses, long coats, mary jane shoes and combat boots. All black, of course. Everyone's selection is different.
Sadly, everyone associates us as "bad"
In high school everyone thought I was the bad kid, the bad girl who did drugs and killed things. I earned the nick name "the girl from the ring" all through middle school and high school. Yet, I did no drugs, I didn't drink, or smoke. I was actually an honor roll student, who took private Japanese classes outside of high school. I was a very good student. I was just different. I was always picked on in high school, and even now in college sometimes. But I stand my ground, some people are even a little scared to approach me, because I can get quite angry when im insulted. I don't really understand how im intimidating sometimes, im only 5'2 and 98lbs.  You never know who the bad people are, you just cant go and assume its the people who wear all black and are into different types of music. Yet the cheerleader or math club leader could be the bad ones doing drugs and all of that hoopla. 
I must say though, things have changed in college. My college is a private university, and there are a lot of fancy fufu people that go there. I am the only person from the Gothic subculture who attends this university. I don't really get picked on or questioned, people. Most of them are really respectful. I made some great friends so far. But there's always going to be those students at university that love to pick on the different kids. I have had a few incidents in classes so far, but it doesn't really happen to much in college that I know of. But there will always be those assholes. 
Its unknown if the media will every give us a good wrap. There are many great people from this culture who are successful. I consider myself to be a good Representative of this culture, showing what its really like. That we are not bad people, who actually do great things. I go to college full time and work, I am a English major and a classical literature minor. I speak Japanese, and I am currently learning German in college. I want to work maybe in a museum of some sort. My friend, also part of the culture, wants to be a musician and also practices martial arts. 
If others would actually open their eyes, and not associate us with bad people, things would be alot easier. My mother, as I grew up always thought I would have no friends and go down a bad path, just because I wore black. I proved her wrong, and now she is so proud of me. 
You cant let the media or anyone in your life take you down or judge you just because you love, and feel comfortable for dressing a certain way! It makes me so angry. No matter what you dress like, black, pink yellow whatever, no one has the right to judge you or say you are a horrible person. They do not know you. If they judge you, and many people sadly do, just give them both middle fingers. You are you, the media and  ignorant people cannot change you or your life. You run your life. No one else. 

The war we cannot see (4)

"The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise its authority for forty-two months. It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven"

Welcome to post four. I must say thank you all for the support.

I would also like to stress this: 

I am not here to say that any form of violence is okay, I am not making theistic satanism out to be malicious. This blog is not intended to hurt ANYONE. I repeat, this blog is not intended to hurt ANYONE. This is a peaceful blog to bring people of the same faith together, and to just share my life's beliefs with you all. I got a message today that asked what about the people who kill other people in the name of satan? here is the answer:

Those people who truly hurt others and animals, are mentally ill. They are sick people who need help. Those are the people you see in the movies, and on tv who get hauled off to asylums and prison. Please do not associate this blog with any of that. I am not to be associated with that, I do not want to be responsible for deaths or wind up on nancy grace. Thanks. Please do not say I am mentally ill either, for I am not. Its hypocritical to say such a thing, for I am the same as any other religion, except I agree with the other side. I do nothing that is illegal, or dangerous. I do not harm others or animals, and I am not racist. I am a peaceful person  just here to share my thoughts and beliefs. Just wanted to make that clear. Now on with post four. 

Since the day that Lucifer was cast down, known to be Satan, there a eternal war was declared. It is still going on to this day, until the world ceases to exist. Angels, and demons are fighting here on our land and skies. We cannot see them, but perhaps some of you can see demons and angels. Just like some people can see ghosts and the supernatural. It is the same idea. Satans forces versus God's forces. It is unsure who's side is currently winning. That is up to you to believe. 

Satan however will rise up when the war reaches its peak. Im speaking of the Revelation 13. 

"The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2 The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion.The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority. 3 One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was filled with wonder and followed the beast. 4 People worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, “Who is like the beast? Who can wage war against it?” 

 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+13&version=NIV)

Satan and himself will rise from the sea, and the world will be in sudden apocalypse. This could happen anytime, we do not know. The war will reach its peak, and then judgement day will draw near. Judgement day is referred to as the end of days. If you all dont remember, there was a scare of this back in May. True Christians/Catholics took this to heart, my mother didn't know for sure if it would happen, but she told me, "If anything happens, I hope to see you in heaven. If you or your brother are left on Earth, do not join Satan. Fight for your life, hide from the others. Survive. I love you." This was touching, but it didnt happen. Of course though, I am already saved for judgement day. When the selection of the good people Jesus chooses from the entire Earth will rise up, those who are left will be left to survive on the Earth. You have two options: 1.) Reject the devils hand, or 2.) fight with the rest of the world for food and survival. Demons will also be ravishing the Earth. Killing those who do not accept Satan. So those who do accept Satan, will be saved by him and go to the kingdom of hell. I know this sounds all exciting and all, but its actually terrifying. We do not know when this will happen, or if it does. It could be millions of years from now. This may sound crazy to some of you, but its actually an idea very discussed by millions of devoted Catholics and Christians. They also believe in the divine war that is going on, that we cannot see. 

I find it annoying when people call me crazy when I talk about these things. Then why doesnt society pick on the Christians and Catholics who also believe in this? We share the SAME beliefs, but worships the other sides. I am a normal person, too. I go to college full time and work like everyone else in the world. I just have different beliefs. Everyone is different, there are different religions for a reason. Just follow what you believe in, and dont let others kick you down. 

God, the Hypocrite. Why God is the evil one. (3)

Welcome to post three.

I believe this is an important post. Aside from my journey on post one, this is also a topic I believe in strongly. It is something I realized, which fueled my passion for theistic satanism all the more. Perhaps God and Jesus are the evil ones after all? Satan has a reason to be angry with everyone, and God and Jesus alike. Jesus says he loves everyone, and says God loves everyone and all of that. Yes, I have read the bible. People argue with me and argue that I do not, but I have read it. I know what it says. 

If God is all of these great things, then why should be have punished Satan? He was only desiring something he wanted. Lucifer rallied his angels, and went against God. If God really is all of these great things such as love and all of that, then why cast out his most beautiful and favorite angel? He was only trying to better himself, to achieve what he wanted.

God is the hypocrite, not Satan. God is the one who is power hungry. He casts out and does away with the ones who have a voice. The ones who are strong individuals, like Satan. Adam and Eve are another example . They became self aware, knowledge is the strongest power. They gain this, and are also cast out. 

God wants to be the almighty and powerful, yes a God should be those things, but also Gods can share those powers. So therefore I believe God to be the evil one. He is manipulative, and power hungry. Satan was wrongfully cast out. This act tells me standing up for what you believe in and want is wrong. 

So God is the biggest deceiver of them all in my eyes. 

Perhaps there is more we don't know that happened, maybe God is covering up more. Or hiding the fact Satan could have been the best ruler. We will never know what really happened. 

I interpret what happened (Lucifer's Fall) to be wrong. It is being beaten down for what you stand for. 

Lucifer is still beautiful, and he has a right to be angry at God. Do not let God deceive you. 

To tell or not to tell? Support. (2)

Welcome to post two. 
You tend not to hear about theistic satanist people. Why? Because society deems it wrong. They see it as evil, and always associate them with murders and such. Which is bullshit.  So not many people come out of the closet about this religious belief. Some do, and hands down to you all who do. So what can you do?
For me, I have not told my family about this. No one of my family knows, only my close friends who support me. My family would most likely disown me if they found out. So for now I have no problem hiding it from them, it doesnt bother me. Id hate to break my mothers heart. All I need is the support of my friends, and the freedom of the internet to express myself. 
Many kids and adults struggle with society in this topic. But here are some things you can do and that I suggest.. 
Get the support of your close friends. If your to scared to tell your family and to deal with the consequences. So keep it close with friends that love you for you. then maybe you can feel strong to tell your family. If your family is a difficult one, please don't bother. It will hurt you in the long run.
Your family may be fucking awesome, hands down to you. Im jealous. I have a friend who is hardcore into his beliefs, and his family doesn't care what he believes in, they love him for him. So if your family is awesome like that, don't fret. Youll be okay. 
Do what you feel is comfortable. If you feel like your family will freak out on you.. (like mine would) save yourself, and keep it close with friends. My family is a traditional Italian family, although they are fucking hardcore about many other thinks, and have given me so much freedom and respect over the years, religious is an iffy subject. My mother is one brick wall. So I will never tell her these things. Hmm..if she saw this blog. LOL. 
Anyway, think about these things before you decide what to do. And if your a person who doesn't give a FUCK -claps- then do whatever the fuck you want! Flip your finger to whoever you want, if you dont care what they think of your beliefs. I love people with those personalities, all respect to you. 
Just be happy for how you are, regardless who knows and who doesn't. 
Lets face it, sometimes not telling your family members if the best option because they are from different times, and see things differently from our generation. Especially religious families. 
Good luck, be happy and comfortable.


-Sophie . 

The Beginning (1)

Welcome to my blog. This is post one. Lets get started, shall we?
I want to clear up a few things before I tell my story.
1. You do not have to dress a certain way to be a theistic satanist, or a satanist of any kind. The way you dress does not effect your religious beliefs. Lets make this clear. Some person dressed in all black and chains and tattoos could be a catholic for all you know, and then the blonde wearing a white dress could worship Satan. Be yourself, do not fit a click. Dress how you want to. I personally love dressing in all black. Ruffles, lace, bows, inverted crosses and combat boots. That's the style I like. Yours may be different, or the same. We are all different.
2. Theistic Satanism is the traditional worship of Satan. We believe Satan exists, that he is a Lord just like God is. We believe that there is God, and Satan. God in the Heavens, and Satan in Hell. Satan is our Lord. We believe he is a figure. How you picture him is up to your mind. He comes in many forms. Many Theistic Satanists believe in all the lore (including myself) angels, demons, demonic spirits. We believe in the supernatural and demonic creatures that coincide with Satan. There is a hell, and a heaven. But we wont know what they look like until they get there. Yes, we acknowledge God and Jesus exist, but we despise them for they are hypocrites. We worship the devil, Satan, Lucifer and all his demons. Theistic Satanists believe in this magic, whereas some Satanists just believe in Satan as a figure of freedom, and don't worship him as a Lord.
3. My Theistic beliefs may be different than another theistic satanists. So therefore, be open minded to mine, because mine may be different from yours.
4. This blog is going to talk about the life style of Theistic Satanism, ways of worship. It is also going to discuss my lifestyle, health, fitness, dieting, and gothic fashion. The way I do things. This is my life, I am sharing it with you all. Here we go.




Long ago in Italy, long before our times, my family (the family name of my mother will be kept confidential) my descendants lived in a small village east of what is now Rome. The village is still there today where my family members live.  The tale goes that a family member was a "satanist" who worshiped the devil. It was possible she was possessed at some point in her life. That is all we know. I believe that when I was born, Satan breathed his air onto me. It was preordained that I would be one of his children. My household was a Roman Catholic home. My mother isn't one of those crazy Catholics, but she does believe deeply in the lore as well. I was always uncomfortable growing up around holy objects, or whenever my mother prayed. She sent me to Catholic school every Sunday and Monday nights until I was 14. (im 19 now). I always felt sick going here, I always had a deep hatred for Jesus and God. I never knew why. It continued like this for years. I remember one time I went to get a book from the closet in the basement, and I was walking up the stairs, and I had such pains I collapsed. Your all probably thinking "oh you just had cramps blah blah" but no. Things like this continued for years. Only in this holy area. Then the biggest moment happened, which I discussed in my youtube video. One day I refused to pray. I hated praying, I always refused all those years. I felt filthy whenever I did. So one day I refused to say the hail mary. So, the priests took me into a seperate classroom because I was being disruptive. They begged me to say the hail mary, and as I finally gave in (I was 12 years old) I actually threw up for no reason.  At 14 years old I convinced my mom to take me out of   the Catholic school. She agreed and I never went into a Catholic enviorment again. Around 15 years old is when the real shit began to go down.
Over the course of a few months, I had recurring dreams. They were so vivid, so real. Were they real? I dont know. The first dream was me, naked in a field of tall dead grass. The sky was moving quickly with white clouds, the sky was dark purple, an eerie color. The wind blew slightly making me chill. Across from me stood what appeared to be Satan, how I always and forever will in-vision him in my mind. I believe this is the first time he physically showed himself to me. There he stood, a tall thick figure. His hair a long tangled mess. White Ivory horns twisted from his head upward. He had long pointed ears. His eyes were the scariest thing ive seen. They were big and red, with slit pupils. Then his jaw was narrow and defined. And his teeth... they were huge fangs that looked more like a tigers, but bigger. His nose was narrow and defined,  his cheeks sunken slightly. His skin was pale white, almost like an ashy gray. He also had large claws on his hands and feet. He scared me the first time I saw him there, standing naked across the field. He was very far away from me in the first dream. Somehow he was attractive to me, but I didnt know what this all meant yet. I was 14. I didnt tell anyone about this dream. All the dream was, was us both standing a far distance away in the eerie field, naked and standing there looking at one another.
I didnt have another dream again until a few weeks later. It was the same scenario as depicted above, but he  was now closer to me in the field, about halfway across.
Then, two months later, I had the final dream. It was the same set up and scenario, but this time he reached me. Then, he brutally raped me. After I pondered these dreams for about a year, I realized I was placed upon this Earth to serve Satan. And on that day fourth, when I was about 15 I decided I was destined to be a Satanist. Ever since then, I have dreams once in a while about Satan (not always sexual either) and he has always been in the same form. Sometimes its in the same field, too. Isnt it strange?
Anyway, that is how I became a theistic satanist. I have given myself to Satan, and I serve him.
How do you serve him, you ask? There are many ways. Ignorant people always say, "why dont you just go murder a bunch of people?"
No, you ignorant fuck. That is not the way. There a a few different ways I like to worship him and give thanks. Now, this blog is for mature people. This entire blog is to be taken seriously. If you act like a child, get the FUCK out. I do have quite an attitude, so please dont waste my time. This blog is for believers and people who want to know more.
Ways to worship and give thanks:
1. Fasting.
-Doing a certain number of days of fasting is a spiritual way to connect with Lucifer. This is not starvation. It is a serious practice that has been practiced over the years in different cultures for spiritual reasons. Make sure you fast a number of days that you can manage, start your way up, 5, 10, 15, 20.. and so on. Make sure you pick a period of time to fast when you don't have to do anything important, no responsibilities. Like a vacation or a school break. You will be tired and weak. Stay in bed. To fast, slowly ween yourself off of food with water for a period of days, soon you will only drink water. Stay in bed as much as possible, for you will become extremely tired. The water is so you don't get dehydrated from lack of food. The point of a fast is for you to connect on an emotional and spiritual level with Satan. Tribes of people all over the world have practiced and still practiced fasting to connect with their Gods. It is completely safe and okay to fast. Only fast if you think you can handle it. Start of slow, pick a certain number of days to fast, and slowly you will build yourself up to longer days. Be safe and good luck.
2. Sex
-Ah, my favorite. Sex is a good way to worship Satan. Satan is a brutal figure, so have brutal sex to give him thanks. This may sound crazy to some, but if you love sex go or it. You dont have to have brutal sex, have sex you are comfortable with. Before you get started with your partner (make sure its someone close you trust, your boyfriend or girlfriend, lover) make a prayer to Satan in any way you want. Light some candles, be safe, and go. To me, Satan and sex go together. If you think about it, God is all about Chastity and what not, so if you worship Satan, get dirty. He loves to see society dirtied. So fuck away, and make God ashamed.
3. Meditation and prayer.
-This doesn't really need to be explained, does it? Light some candled or incense and get spiritual for a few hours. Concentration is the key.


there are other forms of worship out there, these are just some I practice and enjoy. Also remember, you dont have to worship physically to devote yourself to the lord. all he needs is your word, and you are his.
Please share your stories of your Satanic journey bellow, and share how you worship.
Thanks for reading post one.
-Sophie